Finding Direction in Detours

I work with a small group of people. We share space, tasks, coffee breaks, and sometimes, when the guard drops, pieces of our lives. Over time, I’ve become the person they come to when things feel heavy. Sometimes it starts with a complaint about a coworker or a frustrating policy. But more often than not, it ends with something deeper.

A death in the family.
A divorce that’s unraveling everything.
A child who’s chronically ill and needs round-the-clock care.
An ex who was evicted, forcing the kids to move back in.
A single dad trying to juggle work and custody schedules.
A father of six, navigating multiple households and endless obligations.
A couple grieving a miscarriage after years of trying.
A daughter drowning in financial stress while caring for her aging parent.

These stories aren’t rare. They’re everywhere. And they’re happening quietly, behind the scenes, while people are clocking in, showing up, and trying their best to hold it together.

So, when someone snaps at a coworker, forgets a task, or seems distant, it’s easy to judge. It’s easy to say, “They’re being difficult,” or “They’re not a team player.” But what if we paused and asked, “What might they be carrying?”

Because here’s what I’ve learned:
Everyone is carrying something.
And most of the time, it’s not visible. It’s tucked behind tired eyes, short tempers, and quiet sighs in the break room.

That doesn’t mean we excuse poor behavior. Boundaries matter. Respect matters. But it does mean we lead with empathy. We give people the benefit of the doubt. We ask before assuming. We breathe before reacting.

I’ve seen coworkers who were at odds come together after sharing their stories. I’ve seen patience grow when people realize they’re not alone in their struggles. And I’ve seen how a simple “Are you okay?” can change the course of someone’s day.

So this is my reminder, to myself, to my team, and to anyone reading:

Be patient.
Be kind.
Be curious.

Because the person next to you might be fighting a battle you’ll never see, and your grace might be the one thing that helps them keep going.