Finding Direction in Detours

My husband and I have a running joke: “What’s one more?” It started when we had four kids and kept finding ourselves saying yes to more…more snacks, more chaos, more love, more humans in our home. We’re a blended family, happily married with four kids: two older daughters from my first marriage who are now off chasing their dreams in college, and two younger ones (a girl and a boy) from my current marriage who are still in elementary school, keeping us grounded and slightly sleep-deprived.

Last year, my oldest daughter flew the nest – literally. She’s studying to become a commercial pilot at BGSU, and yes, I cry every time I see a plane overhead. This year, my second daughter packed up for UB, where she’s training to become a veterinary doctor, and has taken independency to a whole new level (I barely hear from her). So now I’m officially a half-empty nester. Two gone, two to go. Working on my second batch as I say. I thought I’d finally get a moment to breathe, maybe even reclaim a corner of the house for myself. But before I could enjoy the silence, I was taking in more kids.

Why do I do this to myself, you ask? Because we love it. My husband would have had a dozen kids if I hadn’t closed the baby factory. And no, it wasn’t because pregnancy was hard, I had beautiful pregnancies and births. But my body? My body is a mess. Don’t even get me started…. That’s a blog post for another day. I was mostly worried about having babies after 40. But if adoption were easier and more affordable, our house would be bursting at the seams. I can’t watch the news or see those ads about kids suffering without wanting to scoop them all up and give them a better life.

Now, those who know me know how I am with money. I’m not sending checks to anyone, but I would adopt them in a heartbeat. So in retrospect, thank God adoption isn’t that simple, or I’d be running a full-blown orphanage with a snack budget that rivals Costco’s.

We’ve also volunteered with Compeer, a program where you mentor a child from the city whose family may not have the means to take them places. During weekends or family outings, they come along and become part of the crew. We’ve mentored two kids through Compeer, and while they’re now adults living their own lives, we still hear from them occasionally and keep up through Instagram. They were part of our family for a season, and we carry those memories with us. I would highly recommend volunteering with Compeer. So many young kids, who live right around the block from us, could benefit from spending time with your family.

And just when the house started to feel a little too quiet, our youngest, who’s been surrounded by girls for years, put in a request. Last year, we hosted an exchange student, and she was (you guessed it) another girl. So, this time, he demanded we host a boy. Fair enough. We welcomed a 10th grader from Cambodia, and within weeks, we got a text from the international student agency asking if we’d consider hosting another 10th grade boy who couldn’t find a family. And of course, we said yes. Because what’s one more?

So now I’m back to four kids in the house. It’s fun, loud, and crazy – just the way we like it. Never a dull moment. The laundry pile is taller, the fridge empties faster (OMG! these boys eat like grizzly bears), and the SUV is packed. But our hearts? They’re full.